81: You May be Unknowingly Self Sabotaging with David Neagle

We all have moments when we get in our own way. Our conscious mind is saying “this is what I want” but our subconscious mind is saying “actually…I don’t think so.” This result is a confusing mess of self-sabotaging behaviors.

David Neagle is the founder of the multimillion-dollar global coaching company Life Is Now, Inc, helping thousands of entrepreneurs, experts and self-employed professionals gain the confidence and find the right mindset to increase their revenue, turning their endeavors into seven- and eight-figure ventures. He is also the bestselling author of The Millions Within, a book focusing on intention, focus and awareness to build your dream business and life.

David and I talk about how self sabotaging works, why we self-sabotage, how to overcome your own tendencies to self-sabotage, and how to talk with your team about their self-sabotaging.

Read the related blog article: Why We Self-Sabotage and What We Can Do About It

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Key Takeaways:

The brain is hardwired to keep us safe, alive, and reproducing. Anything that threatens those (think: anything that requires a change and feels risky) can trigger a self-sabotaging behavior.
Self-sabotaging tends to occurs in one of two ways: (1) we get hyper-focused on something irrelevant and (2) we create a problem for ourselves.
In both cases, it’s subconscious, but we let our attention be drawn from where it should be and instead focus on a distraction.
Once you agree with the distraction or lean into the self-made problem, you’ve gotten yourself stuck and all progress toward your goal will end.
The first step toward overcoming self-sabotaging is to be aware of how it works for you.
Evaluate the choices you’ve made of what to focus on, how to behave, etc.
If you anticipate that you’re likely to avoid a behavior, try scheduling it and bundling it with an activity or reward you enjoy.
Talk with your team members about self-sabotaging to help them recognize their potential tendencies.
Create a safe space for people to share personal struggles and perspectives.
Often we carry stress from outside of work into the office. When you can get to the root of the problem, it’s easier to address the subconscious desires.
When something goes wrong in a project, help your team member diagnose what happened. Listen actively for their perspective and potential self-sabotaging behaviors. Then support them to develop their own strategies to address it.
To counter self-sabotaging, discover what deeply motivates yourself and your individual team members. Focus on lifting up these motivations.