We all have moments when we get in our own way. Our conscious mind is saying “this is what I want” but our subconscious mind is saying “actually…I don’t think so.” This result is a confusing mess of self-sabotaging behaviors.
David Neagle is the founder of the multimillion-dollar global coaching company Life Is Now, Inc, helping thousands of entrepreneurs, experts and self-employed professionals gain the confidence and find the right mindset to increase their revenue, turning their endeavors into seven- and eight-figure ventures. He is also the bestselling author of The Millions Within, a book focusing on intention, focus and awareness to build your dream business and life.
David and I talk about how self sabotaging works, why we self-sabotage, how to overcome your own tendencies to self-sabotage, and how to talk with your team about their self-sabotaging.
Read the related blog article: Why We Self-Sabotage and What We Can Do About It
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- The brain is hardwired to keep us safe, alive and reproducing. Anything that threatens those (think: anything that requires a change and feels risky) can trigger a self-sabotaging behavior.
- Self-sabotaging tends to occurs in one of two ways: (1) we get hyper-focused on something irrelevant and (2) we create a problem for ourselves.
- In both cases, it’s subconscious, but we let our attention be drawn from where it should be and instead focus on a distraction.
- Once you agree with the distraction or lean into the self-made problem, you’ve gotten yourself stuck and all progress toward your goal will end.
- The first step toward overcoming self-sabotaging is to be aware of how it works for you.
- Evaluate the choices you’ve made of what to focus on, how to behave, etc.
- If you anticipate that you’re likely to avoid a behavior, try scheduling it and bundling it with an activity or reward you enjoy.
- Talk with your team members about self-sabotaging to help them recognize their potential tendencies.
- Create a safe space for people to share personal struggles and perspectives.
- Often we carry stress from outside of work into the office. When you can get to the root of the problem, it’s easier to address the subconscious desires.
- When something goes wrong in a project, help your team member diagnose what happened. Listen actively for their perspective and potential self-sabotaging behaviors. Then support them to develop their own strategies to address it.
- To counter self-sabotaging, discover what deeply motivates yourself and your individual team members. Focus on lifting up these motivations.
KEEP UP WITH DAVID
Podcast: The Successful Mind Podcast