October 2, 2019

71: How to Respond, Not React with Ron Shuali

Respond, don’t react. Easier said than done. When our emotions take over, our logical brain shuts down, increasing the possibility we’ll say things we don’t mean or make poor decisions. Yet we have more control over our emotional response than you might think.

Ron Shuali holds a Master of Education and has spent over 15 years presenting in the education marketplace. He is a best selling author, top motivational speaker and most importantly…He is funny. He presents keynotes, school assemblies and workshops all over the United States on issues related to bullying. His study of martial arts, yoga, reiki and improv rounds out a powerful hero for what is right.

In this episode, Ron offers a fresh perspective on how we overemphasize emotions and the power we give to other people to influence our emotional state. We share approaches and tips for how to manage your own emotional response and how to deal with other people’s emotional moments.

Note: This episode is an experiment. Rather than playing the full interview, it’s a solo-guest mashup. Please share your thoughts on this format – whether you love it or not – and any suggestion for the future. Email me at mamie@mamieks.com.

Read the related blog article: Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You

Join the Modern Manager community (www.mamieks.com/join) to get a free session with Ron on workplace or school bullying. Plus, get a chance to win a free coaching session with Lindsey Caplan of episode 70. Become a member by Friday October 18, 2019 to be eligible.

If you work for a nonprofit or government agency, email me at mamie@mamieks.com for 20% off any membership level.

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KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • Your emotions are yours. No one can make you feel anything.
  • We’ve been conditioned since childhood to over-emphasize our emotions and the way other people make us feel.
  • Words have inherent meaning, but we often ascribe additional meaning or interpretation to them.
  • Recognize your physical signs of emotional stress. Use these to help you trigger a thoughtful response.
  • Apply Mel Robbins’s 5 second rule whenever you feel your emotions taking over. Count down from 5, then decide how to respond.
  • Ask yourself, are these emotions helping me right now? Or not?
  • If someone is having an emotional outburst directed at you, stay calm and redirect the conversation if possible.
  • Hum a tune in your head and stare at the person’s forehead to make the experience less intense.
  • If you’ve had an emotional outburst, have a ‘cleanup conversation’ later. Apologize and promise to work to not let it happen again.

Resources:

Tiny Leaps, Big Changes episode 392: How to Overcome Anxiety
The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins
Episode 14: Personality and Preferences with Rob Toomey
Episode 69: Center Yourself So You Can Lead Others with Dolores Hirschmann

KEEP UP WITH RON

Website: www.ronspeak.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/shualife
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ronshualispeaks/

mamie@mamieks.com

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